Hello my long lost friends. Just when you thought I’d thrown in the towel (or died) I’m back to regale you with more scintillating anecdotes that you probably didn’t want to know about my life. What the fuck have I been doing for the last year and a half? A[…]
Author: Nicole
A celebration of when life doesn’t suck
So, I have been totally and utterly sucking at writing this blog lately. There are a few reasons for this. Firstly I have been suffering from a multitude of first world atrocities such as moving (into a beautiful 3 bedroom house with the man I love – renting that is,[…]
There’s always a way out
Once in my life I have had thoughts of suicide. Luckily I never got to the point that I would have seriously considered it. Unfortunately too many people do reach this point. A point where they think they can’t go on and that the world would be better off without[…]
Life in the Pressure Cooker
‘You don’t need a man these days, just go to the sperm bank’. Is the advice my mother imparted onto me in a desperate last-ditch effort to obtain Grandchildren from at least one of her offspring. Bless her, she has been fairly patient over the years, possibly thinking ‘it’s ok,[…]
Anxiety’s a b!tch!
I’ve sat here blankly staring at this screen for a good portion of time trying to figure out where the fuck to begin with this topic. I guess the fact that anxiety sucks a rather large bag of dicks goes without saying but I’ll say it anyway! I wanted to[…]
The trials of being a woman
I’m sitting here in bed, as I have been for the past three days with a giant ovary. Yup. According to the ultrasound report, my left ovary is 8 times the size of my right. Why, you ask? Because I have developed a cyst, which has rather inconveniently decided to[…]
The demise of twenty-fucking-sixteen
What day is it? I have no fucking idea. I’m just barely navigating my way through the haze of alcohol and biscuits that is the Christmas holidays. All I really wanted for Christmas was to make it through to the New Year without my liver failing. It’s been touch and[…]
Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
My ponderings recently have led me to think about the plethora of unthinkably stupid questions I get asked as I try to go about my life. Here are a few of the choicest, handpicked for your entertainment. Why aren’t you married? Because, asshole, I have not yet met a person[…]
Tinderella
I thought it was about time to write a blog post about the true nitty gritty of dating in the age of Tinder. I’ve been putting it off as I have such mixed feelings about it (mostly all of them resulting in nausea) but it has provided me with many[…]
Thirty three going on sixteen
I am 33 years old. ‘Thirty three??’ I hear you say ‘but you look like you’ve been kissed by the eternal fountain of youth and you have the maturity of a 12 year old’ (Ok I made the first part up to make myself feel better. People don’t say that).[…]